Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize