I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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