Say something about gay babies.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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