Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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