im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
