I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
