Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
