D3 body, D1 cock
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
