I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize