Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
