The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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