I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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