I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
