i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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