Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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