did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
