Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
