he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
