She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
