im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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