I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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