You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize