I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
