Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
