Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
This is my gift to your gina
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
