I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
