She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
