Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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