i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we're making bets on your personal life
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
