I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
