O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he thought i was a dude.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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