By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
