So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
