i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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