i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize