I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have already put on my inside pants.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
