Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
