i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
