Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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