my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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