Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize