I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
