i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
