Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
