He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
