today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
