just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
