I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
