Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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