That's intense
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
