Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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