Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
