I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
