if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
