i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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