she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
