so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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