Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
