Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
