Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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