I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
