Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
