She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
In America we eat man semen.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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